I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
