we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
