so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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