Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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