She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
