dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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