Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
