3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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