Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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