what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
