Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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