Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize