She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
