can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
