Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
