I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
