I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
