There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
