Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
