I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
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No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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