There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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