You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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