Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
