I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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