omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize