i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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