Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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