remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
