My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
