we're blogging at a bar
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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