But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We left an ass print on the piano.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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