i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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