Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
