is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
