At least make sure they are 18
Why
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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