I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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