just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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