do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
