Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
they're like a gay fantastic four
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize