she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
