Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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