I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
