sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
