It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
