Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
