Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
