I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize