I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
