turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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