I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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