And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize