i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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