why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
