wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
