i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
