Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
