I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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