dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
