Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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