two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
