do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
