Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize