I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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