That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
